How to motivate your children

Show them how

Want your child to eat her vegetables? Eat your vegetables! Get up and go for a walk together to show her that being active is fun. You are the best role model your child can have. Children start to mimic their parents while they’re still babies, so start early and resist the urge to bribe your child to cooperate and avoid teaching unhealthy habits.

Reward them with mum or dad time

Instead of bribing your child with video games or a trip to the cinema where they are sedentary, make active time together a reward. Kick a ball around. Go on a bike ride together. Even let your child plan the whole day.

Why this works: Children crave your attention – especially if they have to share time with siblings. Never underestimate how much one-to-one attention means to your kids, even teenagers.

Don’t use food as a reward

Using sweets or junk food as a prize teaches your children to use food to soothe their 

feelings. Learning to use food for comfort can set them up for an unhealthy relationship with food.  According to one study, adults who were rewarded and punished with food as children were more likely to binge eat and diet.

Withholding treats because of misbehaviour, “No ice cream for you!”, isn't good either. The forbidden food becomes more attractive

Praise effort, not just results

Children need praise. If you want to motivate them, focus on their effort rather than the end result. When your child shows you a picture he made, don't just say it's great. Praise your child for how hard he worked on it. Note specific details. If you’re trying to get your child to learn a new sport, talk about how proud you are that he’s practicing kicking or running. Don’t focus on winning or losing a game.

Your child will start to feel the value in working hard on something, and get a sense of motivation from within. 

Stay calm, don’t shout

When you're telling your child to do something, or disciplining him, stay calm. This is your chance to be a role model for healthy emotional management. Kids can learn how to manage their emotions by watching you. Be concise and clear.

1. Tell him what he has to do.
2. Tell him by when he needs to do it.
3. Explain the consequences for not following through.
4. Stick to your agreement and don't allow negotiation.

Show her exercise feels good

If you’re trying to get your children to move more, help them realise that exercise feels good! Activity triggers the release of endorphins, the feel-good chemicals in the brain. Get moving together. After you both go on a bike ride or play tennis, chat about how you feel. This encourages your child to notice the same feeling herself and creates a natural motivation to be active. Ideally, your child should be on the move at least 60 minutes a day.

Get out the pedometers

Still looking for a way to convince your kids it’s good to move? Buy inexpensive pedometers, or step counters, for the whole family. Start a family contest: Note down everyone's daily steps on a chart you keep on the fridge.

You don't even need a prize for the weekly winner. Using the gadget itself, along with some friendly competition, can motivate your kids to move throughout the day.

Get inspired: Watch others

No matter what habit you’re trying to instill, children look up to other people. Use that to your advantage when you’re trying to get them to move more. Build on the inspiration from the London 2012 Olympics. Go to performances where they can watch acrobats or dancers. Take them to see a rugby or football match. It might motivate them a lot more than anything you can say. Then go and kick a ball or play catch with your child.

Create a cooking challenge

Want to encourage a picky eater to try new veg? Choose one from the market or supermarket that neither of you have ever had before. Go home and find a recipe.

Or give your older child or teenager a selection of healthy ingredients and challenge him to decide how to turn them into dinner. Being invested in how it turns out may inspire him to try new foods.

Offer choices and some control

Instead of ordering your children to do a job, give them options. Ask if they want to do a task now or in a few minutes. Ask if they would rather take out the rubbish or empty the dishwasher. Kids fight back when they feel like they have no control. Resisting you becomes a way of asserting themselves.

Giving them some say will help motivate them.

Plus, giving them choices now, teaches them how to make healthy choices later.